Today is January 1, 2011 and it’s Thanksgiving Day.
At around 11 AM today I was standing in the front doorway of my house, still in my pajama pants, unshaven and maybe just a teensy bit hung-over. It was sunny and mild with about 8 inches of snow on the ground. I was holding Zack, our orange cat, and reaching for my coffee when it hit me: I was really happy. More than just happy, though: I was glad to be where I was -- right here, right now. No wait. It was more than that. I felt thankful -- almost literally “full of thanks,” with no room for anything else right then. That was it: thankful. It came at me from out of nowhere.
It’s a little weird -- and it may be due to my faulty memory -- but I really don’t recall experiencing that feeling quite so strongly... not even on the last Thursday in November, when we set aside a full day for that express purpose. Standing there in my PJs and looking out at my neighborhood, I was really and truly glad to be right here, right now. I know I was “full of thanks” right then because at 48 years old, I decided that I was also thankful for each and every one of the “bad” things I've seen or lived through up to now. Standing here in my doorway on New Year’s Day, even those things that once seemed so horrible or painful looked a little different with 1, 5 or 25 years behind them... I was standing here now, feeling happy and healthy, either because of or in spite of all of them.
So, today was really my personal Thanksgiving Day. Like I said, I can’t recall feeling this way too many times in my life and I didn't want to forget this, so decided I would make myself write this down and put it somewhere so I can remind myself from time to time. (If you’re reading this, then apparently I actually did.) I first started to write down the things I was thankful for, but that started to get a little silly so I deleted that and started over. The one thing I wanted to remember most was how I felt today. So, hopefully when I read this later, it won’t seem silly or vain and I’ll get to remember and relive that thankful feeling again. And to anyone else who might read this: it is my sincere New Year's wish that you might also get to have a few extra, unexpected "personal Thanksgiving Days" this year.
Thanks (really).
Me.
