On August 6th, 2016 I started off on my 13th Pan Mass Challenge ride. Here we are, 84 days later and I'm just now getting around to publishing my customary write-up of PMC weekend.
84 days. Man, I suck at this. Mea culpa.
Before we dig in, though, I have to stop and thank all my friends, family and coworkers who were so generous with their support this year. With your help we were able to exceed our overall 2016 fund-raising goal by $1M -- and this weekend we'll be presenting a check for $47M to the Jimmy Fund for cancer research and treatment. That is quite a feat and we have you to thank. So thank you.
Day Zero: Sleepover in Ludlow.
I did my usual 2-day route this year: Sturbridge to Bourne/MMA on Saturday, then Bourne to Provincetown on Sunday. Due to logistical issues (place to sleep) I didn't do my "Day 0" bike ride from home out to Sturbridge on Friday -- but I did sort-of have a "Day 0" start from our son's house in Ludlow.Quick note: full-size version of any pictures/videos in this blog will pop up when you click on them..
 |
| Our little Friday night arts & crafts project... |
The Friday afternoon registration and bike drop-off went smoothly and we had a nice Friday evening dinner with Ben & Sarah. We even all did a little "arts and crafts project" together before I called it a night.
Day 1: Saturday Aug 6th
My alarm went off at 3:30 AM and I was out the door by about 4:00. I stopped at the Cumberland Farms on the way for gas and some coffee before hopping on the Mass Pike. (Past experience has taught me that I shouldn't count on being able to get a coffee at at Sturbridge Host Hotel -- the line is just so darn long.) Anyway, just as I got back in the car, I realized I'd forgotten my Camelbak back in the fridge at Ben's house! Good thing that I was only 5 minutes away and hadn't gotten on the Pike yet. Unfortunately I ended up having to phone Sandy and wake her up from a sound sleep to let me in in the house... Camelbak in hand -- and one apology later -- I was back on the road to Sturbridge. Crisis averted.
The Sturbridge start was the usual human beehive -- a buzzing swarm of lycra, sleepy smiles and general excitement -- and groups of people snapping selfies at every turn.
I had just enough time to grab a muffin and a banana before staking out a place in the 'mid pace' rider area. (As I predicted, the line for coffee was just too darn long.)
The starting ceremony went off like clockwork and I crossed the starting line onto Route 20 at 5:40 AM. The weather was just a little cloudy with a touch of overcast and morning clamminess in the air.
More than 2 months later, do you know what sticks out most in my mind about the start of that ride? It was that section of route 20 on the first few miles of the ride! That stretch of road had been recently resurfaced and painted. It was almost like that "new car smell" feeling -- and was an absolute pleasure to ride on. I know that's weird. But that's what sticks out in my mind...
I did, however, meet some new friends on the road near Mendon.
These guys seemed up for a picture, so I decided to stop and see if I could pull off a selfie as an homage to my favorite bovine photo-bomb, taken by fellow PMC-er Mike Mahler a few years ago. (Picture below)
My new friends weren't really into conversation and once they realized I wasn't bringing any treats, they lost interest fast. So back on the bike an onward to Franklin.
The Franklin water stop is one of the busier stops - probably due to its location and size. I tend to hang out here a little longer than the other stops. It's also nice to ditch the shoes and socks and walk around on the grass for a few minutes while I'm grabbing a snack and topping off my Camelbak. [Pro tip: hit the porta-potty the last thing on the way out -- after you've put the shoes & socks back on.]
The volunteers are what makes the PMC possible. Without them, it'd be a godforsaken mess. So I go out of my way to thank them and make sure they get the 'props' they deserve. The young lady on the right who's photobombing with the volunteers above is Kelly Westbrook Moore. I wrote about Kelly earlier this year in July. My sister and I went to school with Kelly as kids. Kelly's dealing with colon cancer right now. So I wanted to make sure she (or at least her likeness) got as much of "the PMC experience" as I could offer. (She was a busy girl that weekend.)
The Sturbridge start was the usual human beehive -- a buzzing swarm of lycra, sleepy smiles and general excitement -- and groups of people snapping selfies at every turn.
 |
| The obligatory "PMC Pre-Start Selfie" |
I had just enough time to grab a muffin and a banana before staking out a place in the 'mid pace' rider area. (As I predicted, the line for coffee was just too darn long.)
 |
| Breakfast area at the Sturbridge Host Hotel. |
More than 2 months later, do you know what sticks out most in my mind about the start of that ride? It was that section of route 20 on the first few miles of the ride! That stretch of road had been recently resurfaced and painted. It was almost like that "new car smell" feeling -- and was an absolute pleasure to ride on. I know that's weird. But that's what sticks out in my mind...
I am always amazed at the number of people I see on that stretch of road, cheering riders on from 5:30 AM until the last of 3000+ has passed them by. They're there in good weather and bad, and on a weekend morning when most others would be sleeping in. Until you ride the PMC, you'll just never know how cool it is to see that.A little side note: I commute to work by bike regularly and also like to take long rides on roads for fun. But man do I get tired of dodging all the trash, shrapnel, craters and animal corpses that accumulate on the edges of the road. So you may never understand what a thrill it was to be able ride so luxuriously on a clean, recently-paved stretch of road, enjoying the entire lane -- not shoved over to the far right, dodging ex-possums and broken glass. I don't expect anyone to understand. But more than 2 months later I still remember the feeling.
Whitinsville, Water Stop #1
I arrived at the parking lot in Whitinsville at 7:07 to change fluids and grab a Lara Bar. I didn't stop to take any pictures -- just took care of business and rolled back onto the road 12 minutes later.I did, however, meet some new friends on the road near Mendon.
 |
| My Posse and Me |
 |
| The Original "Selfie with Cow" - by Mike Mahler |
My new friends weren't really into conversation and once they realized I wasn't bringing any treats, they lost interest fast. So back on the bike an onward to Franklin.
Franklin, Water Stop #2
I rolled into the Jefferson Elementary School in Franklin at 8:26 AM: the 2nd water stop of the day. |
| Pano shot: Franklin Water Stop dismount area |
 |
| Mechanical Support at the Franklin Stop! |
 |
| Happy volunteers at Franklin -- and a visitor |
The volunteers are what makes the PMC possible. Without them, it'd be a godforsaken mess. So I go out of my way to thank them and make sure they get the 'props' they deserve. The young lady on the right who's photobombing with the volunteers above is Kelly Westbrook Moore. I wrote about Kelly earlier this year in July. My sister and I went to school with Kelly as kids. Kelly's dealing with colon cancer right now. So I wanted to make sure she (or at least her likeness) got as much of "the PMC experience" as I could offer. (She was a busy girl that weekend.)
Anyway...after idling for about 20 minutes in the grass at Franklin, I saddled up again and hit the road. . One of the highlights of this stretch of the PMC is Cherry Street in Wrentham. All of the people along Cherry Street really "do it up" for the PMC riders. As you ride down the street there's music all the way: steel drum bands, taiko drummers, pickup rock bands and bagpipers. There are signs and people everywhere. It's like an all-day parade and festival on their little street. Nothing like it.
Next stop was an early lunch in Dighton. Just about 5 miles prior to the lunch stop, we managed to get a little unattended equestrian participation on the ride. I didn't get to see it personally, but you can see it for yourself in this YouTube video captured by 4-year PMC volunteer Lou Basilicato:
I just hope the fellow didn't leave any road apples for the riders behind it..
Dighton-Rehoboth Regional High School: Lunch!
By 10:26 AM I arrived at D-R Regional High School. This is the "lunch stop". While 10:30 AM may seem like an early lunch to you, a little food & quick rest is a welcome thing when you've been riding for 5 hours. |
| Pano Shot of the "Dighton Dustbowl". Lunch! |
 |
| Princess Aurora met some nice EMTs at the D-R stop... |
It's really amazing to me that we can have so many cyclists out on a single weekend ride and have as few medical incidents as we do. We're so lucky to have support from fellows like these.
The main lunch tent was a bit of a zoo, per usual. But there is plenty of food and everyone is polite and keeps moving, so the most challenging thing is usually just to be able to find a place where you can sit down and eat your food. Since last year, I've discovered that hanging out underneath the tractor trailers is nice. (It gets you out of the sun and it's quiet.)
 |
| Princess Aurora, trying to decide between a PB+banana or chicken sandwich. |
The video below is footage that I shot from my bike with my cell phone in one hand and trying to steer with the other. So... the video is a little shaky (sorry), and it's almost 3-1/2 minutes long. It's not riveting videography by any means -- but I wanted to include it here pretty much 'as-is' and not try to edit it down because 1) I really have no talent at all for video editing and 2) I wanted to capture that bit of road as it really is: about every 10 yards for at least a mile leading into the water stop, there is a big poster with a young cancer patient's face on it looking out at you.
13 years and this stretch of road gets to me every single time.
Lakeville Water Stop - Last stop before Mass Maritime!
 |
| Apponequet School Parking Lot: "The Great Asphalt Playa" |
There's simply just not a lot of shade there (it's a big wide-open parking lot) so don't let the trees in the picture above fool you. This is the stop where teams can meet up with their Pedal Partners and this is where I'd met up with Dan Field for a couple of years. I didn't have anyone to meet there this year, so 15 minutes later, after a brief stretch and change of fluids I was back on the road and on my way to Bourne.
From the Lakeville stop to Mass Maritime Academy, it's about a 25 mile ride. There's another water stop along the way in Wareham, but by the time you get there it's only about 10 miles more to Mass Maritime. I think I only stopped at Wareham on my first PMC ride. By the time I'm within 10 miles of Mass Maritime I'm usually so ready for a shower and a beer that I just blow right by the Wareham water stop. And I've noticed a lot of the other riders do precisely the same thing.
Hello Mass Maritime! (Where is everyone?)
At 1:30 PM I crossed the day one finish line at Mass Maritime Academy in Buzzards Bay. I know it was 1:30 (just as I know all my other arrival and departure times) not because I took copious notes -- but because this year all the PMC riders were issued RFID-enabled tags for the bike. This meant that as long as you remembered ride across the sensor mats stretched across the entrances and exits at the stops, then your time and location were recorded and reported online. (I even received an email with all my times a week or 2 after the ride!) |
| The gang is (finally) all here: me and Team Awesome |
So, at 1:30 I rolled across the finish, had my wrist band scanned and was handed a bottle of cold water. I looked around for Sandy. Kevin? Ben? Anyone? Nobody.
Apparently the web application was generating an ETA for me that was waaaay off -- like 2+ hours later. I figured that they were just hard at work, so I just headed off to park my bike and do the needful. Little did I know that after this new system registered that my bike crossed the sensors at the Mass Maritime arrival line, it immediately revised my ETA from "hours away" to "Arived!" As a consequence, while I was off parking my bike, Kevin saw the notification and went off to greet me at the finish (where I no longer was...) We probably walked past each other in the crowd.
At the bike paddock, I eventually found Sandy, Ben, Sarah and the rest of our "Team Awesome" volunteer crew. Once we'd more-or-less assembled we went to fetch Kevin at the starting line. We all had some laughs about my "accelerated ETA". But Sandy and I decided that next year we'd do it old-school and I'd TXT her when I was 10 miles out. Then I hurried off to shower off and get my massage.
 | |||||||||||
| "That face rings a bell.." |
 |
| Kelly chillin' at MMA |
Once I'd gotten through my massage it was about 3PM. We all ate well, had a couple of drinks and just sat around (Sandy always remembers to bring comfy lawn chairs), enjoying the music, the weather and the day. Eventually it was time to go so I walked them off to the shuttle and we said our goodbyes. They still had a long drive back home from Bourne. It was a great ending to a great first day.
Day 2: Sunday August 7th
While there was some threat of rain on Saturday, we managed to get through the entire day without any. And we dodged that bullet again on Sunday: the rain that threatened late in the day on Saturday held off until everyone was fast asleep. All that water was on the ground and out of the sky before 3AM on Sunday morning. |
| Caffeine crisis averted |
So let me be perfectly clear about this: I have nothing but praise and awe for all the men and women who make the PMC happen -- and especially the crew at Mass Maritime -- but they're human. 2016 was the first time in 13 years I have witnessed a logistical slip-up that actually shook me to my core: no coffee. Well, truthfully there was plenty of coffee -- just no way to drink it.
At the early hour of 4M, there was already upwards of 50 gallons of fresh piping-hot Dunkin Donuts coffee ready to be enjoyed. However, coffee cups were conspicuously absent. None. Zip. Nunca. Worse, none of the volunteers on-hand seemed to have any idea where they were. They were as astounded as I was.
Now, I enjoy some good solid O. Henry irony as much as the next guy, but this was serious. The coffee was far too hot to just put your mouth under the spigot on the dispenser, so that was out. (Even I have limits.) I was standing at the food table trying to figure out how to fashion some sort of cup out of the foil wrapper from a sausage & egg biscuit... and then I saw it: a big pile of "Kellogg's Smart Start" cereal-in-a-cup. I grabbed one, peeled off the top and dumped the contents onto my plate. Then I made a bee-line for the Dunkin' dispensers with my Kellogg's improvised coffee cup in hand -- feeling like the smartest man on the planet. Crisis averted and BPA be damned.
Follow-up: The volunteers located the missing coffee cups and had them distributed by the time I went for my 2nd cup. In the interim, I had already been appointed "genius" by several fellow addicts who had also quickly adopted my Kellogg's hack. So I got that going for me.
On the road, over the bridge and along the canal
Saved by the F.O.G.
As luck would have it, I was riding with my F.O.G. headlight so I pulled over figuring that the least I could do is just give him some light to help him get going. Turns out that they guy was a first-year PMC rider. So as soon as I learned that, I wanted to make sure that I made every possible effort to get him back on the road as quick as I could and not have this sour his experience. As it turned out, he really kinda needed a little more help. To his credit, he had a tube, one CO2 cartridge and a tiny little CO2 inflator attachment -- none of which he's ever used before. (N.B. 5:15 AM in the dark is really not the time to learn this sort of thing.) So I let him hold my bike and shine this light while I got his new tube & tire mounted. He promptly lost most of his CO2 getting the inflator attached to the cartridges, so we used my CO2 and inflator to inflate his tire. When it was done, I gave him one of my CO2 cartridges to carry along,just in case he should he get another flat today. (I always carry like 4 or 5 cartridges, 2 tubes and a patch kit.) I also recommend that he ditched his cheesy little inflator for a more substantial one like mine. All in all, about 15 minutes later we were all set and ready to hit the canal bike path. Ride salvaged! |
| "Fish on!" |
The ride down the canal bike path at that time of day is just magic. It's quiet, except for a few cyclist conversations and the ratchety-whizzzing sound that bike freehubs make when coasting... The sun is just starting to come up to meet you as you ride east along the canal and you can see the tide currents going crazy in the canal and reflecting the morning light. And if you're lucky (like I was), you'll get to see one of the many fisherman casting into the canal reeling in a striper. If you look really closely at the picture on the left (click on it and it should expand to full-size, full-definition in your browser), you will see there is a fisherman there and he's reeling one in. For reels.
By the time we got to the end of the canal bike path, the sun was well on its way up. The panorama shot below is a little distorted, since it was taken at a slight bend in the path. You can see the riders approaching from the left (west) and the sun rising on the right. Like I said, the photo is a little distorted, but I like the view and I can almost hear the cyclists and smell the water when I look at it.
Sandwich to Barnstable, via Service Road
 |
| Yay! There were plenty of coffee cups at the Barnstable stop. |
The ride only takes Service Road until it crosses route 149, then we switch over to route 6A into Barnstable.
A couple miles down the road on 6A in West Barnstable I started to hear a clanging bell in the distance. In a few minutes I rounded a curve and found the source: it was these spirited well-wishers...
In the video clip here to the right, you can hear the bell. The lobster lady was really into it and it was kinda infectious. So I stopped and took a picture with them -- although the lobster lady would not stand still long enough for me to get a decent picture...
 |
| Just had to get a selfie, along with my favorite photo-bomber, Kelly. |
I waved farewell to the bell ringers and was at the water stop in Barnstable about 10 minutes later at 6:46 AM Grabbed some coffee and a banana, then topped off my water. After taking a couple of pictures, we were back on the road at 7:02 AM. Next stop Brewster.
 |
| At the Barnstable stop, Princess Aurora couldn't decide between bananas or fluffernutters... |
From Barnstable to the Nickerson water stop in Brewster is about 20 miles. As far as Sunday morning bike rides go, it's pretty great. We're on router 6A for about the first third of the way, then veer onto Setucket Road (aka "Old Kings Highway", aka "Main Street") for the rest of the way to Nickerson State Park. Just about a mile before we get to the Nickerson State Park entrance, we pass by "Da Hedge" at Cape Cod Sea Camps...
 |
| I had to dismount and get some video of the CCSC kids at Da Hedge |
 | ||||
| ...an impressive multi-photo-bomb from Kelly at Da Hedge |
After hanging out at Da Hedge for some pics and helping the kids cheer, I hopped back on the bike and idled one more mile down the road to Nickerson State Park, rolling in at 8:02 AM: 2nd water stop of the day.
 |
| Kelly made some friends on the ice couch at Nickerson State park. |
The Nickerson water stop is always crowded and busy. It may be because there's always a TV station remote there. (WBZ is a PMC partner). When people think they're going to be on TV or they spot a TV reporter they recognize, traffic flow goes right out the window. ;-) No biggie.
I managed to take care of business then loitered around soaking up the excitement for about 20 minutes, then back on the bike at 8:27.
The ride out from the Nickerson State Park stop puts us on the Cape Cod Rail Trail (CCRT) for a few miles. It's nice to be on a trail and away for cars for a while. And on top of that, the CCRT goes through some really beautiful wooded areas of the Cape.
After a few miles on the CCRT, we exit and head up through Orleans, with the route still keeping to the side roads west of -- but roughly parallel to -- Route 6. At this point, the Cape is getting narrower and narrrower. About midway to the Wellfleet water stop we cross over Route 6 and get then get back onto the CCRT for a few more miles, then swing off and over toward Ocean View drive, along the ocean-side part of the Cape in Wellfleet.
I have a personal stop I like to take on the stretch of road along the coast: it's White Crest Beach in Wellfleet.
The entry to the beach is at the top of a long but scenic grind up Ocean View Drive in Wellfleet. I make it a point to stop here for a couple of minutes of quiet reflection and taking in the view. The view never disappoints, even on the years it was overcast and dreary. It's always beautiful
After a few more miles and one last hill or two at Race Point, I finally arrived at the Family Finish at 11:39. The Family Finish at P-Town is located practically underneath the famous Pilgrim Monument. (Which, by the way, I have climbed the stairs all the way to the top -- but it was years ago, and definitely not following an 80+ mile bike ride.)
So my 13th big ride is done! Time for 800mg ibuprofen and a shower, some food and a beer. Or two.
I prefer the Family Finish to the "original" finish line at the
Provincetown Inn, it's not as claustrophobic -- there's a huge ball
field to relax in.
The Family Finish is getting more and more popular, and thankfully the beer garden gets a little more accommodating each year. A few years back when they finally managed to get permission from the town to have beer at the Family Finish, it was a pretty 'make do' affair -- basically a 50x50 foot paddock-looking affair with a couple of folding chairs. I don't think there was even any shade. The next year it got a little bigger with some extra chairs and some shade. Finally this year it was a pretty decent-sized tent-covered area on the big field with plenty of tables and chairs where you could sit, relax and chat.
Once I was showered, fed and watered, I had enough time to relax at the beer garden and then walk my bike and luggage down to the docks to catch the 1:30 "fast ferry" to Boston. Sandy was waiting for me at the wharf in Boston with open arms, and possibly the best parking spot you could have imagined. We got the bike in the Prius and we headed home. PMC weekend was over.
I managed to take care of business then loitered around soaking up the excitement for about 20 minutes, then back on the bike at 8:27.
The ride out from the Nickerson State Park stop puts us on the Cape Cod Rail Trail (CCRT) for a few miles. It's nice to be on a trail and away for cars for a while. And on top of that, the CCRT goes through some really beautiful wooded areas of the Cape.
After a few miles on the CCRT, we exit and head up through Orleans, with the route still keeping to the side roads west of -- but roughly parallel to -- Route 6. At this point, the Cape is getting narrower and narrrower. About midway to the Wellfleet water stop we cross over Route 6 and get then get back onto the CCRT for a few more miles, then swing off and over toward Ocean View drive, along the ocean-side part of the Cape in Wellfleet.
I have a personal stop I like to take on the stretch of road along the coast: it's White Crest Beach in Wellfleet.
 |
| White Crest Beach, Wellfleet |
After leaving White Crest, the route soon gets to a set of exciting and shady "rollers" on Long Pond Road and I manage to pick up some mileage pretty fast. Then it's just a few more miles to the Wellfleet water stop.
Wellfleet Elementary School: Last Water Stop before P-Town.
At 9:52 AM I arrived at the Wellfleet Elementary School. I stopped for a quick Lara Bar, changed fluids took a couple of pictures and applied some sunscreen. We were back on the road 22 minutes later and headed to Truro and P-Town.
 |
| Miss A got a little carried away with the sunscreen... |
 |
| Entering Provincetown -- but not finished yet! |
I took this video just at the Provincetown town line. I was hoping to capture some comments from the riders on their way in, but I think people were a little winded. Literally. On that long stretch of open road, you're subject to some pretty strong winds, and more often than not it's a headwind. So most of the riders are trying to stay low and aero and just grind through it.
After a few more miles and one last hill or two at Race Point, I finally arrived at the Family Finish at 11:39. The Family Finish at P-Town is located practically underneath the famous Pilgrim Monument. (Which, by the way, I have climbed the stairs all the way to the top -- but it was years ago, and definitely not following an 80+ mile bike ride.)
 |
| Finish line photo-bomb! |
 |
| Rider, heal thyself. |
 |
| So hongry. |
 |
| You must. It's not optional, people. |
The Family Finish is getting more and more popular, and thankfully the beer garden gets a little more accommodating each year. A few years back when they finally managed to get permission from the town to have beer at the Family Finish, it was a pretty 'make do' affair -- basically a 50x50 foot paddock-looking affair with a couple of folding chairs. I don't think there was even any shade. The next year it got a little bigger with some extra chairs and some shade. Finally this year it was a pretty decent-sized tent-covered area on the big field with plenty of tables and chairs where you could sit, relax and chat.
Once I was showered, fed and watered, I had enough time to relax at the beer garden and then walk my bike and luggage down to the docks to catch the 1:30 "fast ferry" to Boston. Sandy was waiting for me at the wharf in Boston with open arms, and possibly the best parking spot you could have imagined. We got the bike in the Prius and we headed home. PMC weekend was over.
"This is the end, my friend."
Here endeth my recollections of my 13th PMC ride. Thanks to
the generous support of all my sponsors this year, I was able to raise a
grand total of $12,526.69-- more than 150% of my personal goal of
$8,000! This was far and away the most that I have ever been able to
raise for the Jimmy Fund in a single year and I am blown away by that.
I've said it before several times, but I will say this again: To my sponsors, I cannot thank you enough for being so generous this year. Every penny of the money you donate is going directly to the Jimmy Fund for cancer research and treatment. And every penny that you donate is needed, appreciated and put to the best possible use at Dana-Farber.
Thanks to your help, Dana-Farber/Harvard Cancer Center's research was critical to 37 of the 79 new cancer drugs approved by the FDA over the last 5 years. And the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute itself was responsible for well over half of those 37.
I've said it before several times, but I will say this again: To my sponsors, I cannot thank you enough for being so generous this year. Every penny of the money you donate is going directly to the Jimmy Fund for cancer research and treatment. And every penny that you donate is needed, appreciated and put to the best possible use at Dana-Farber.
Thanks to your help, Dana-Farber/Harvard Cancer Center's research was critical to 37 of the 79 new cancer drugs approved by the FDA over the last 5 years. And the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute itself was responsible for well over half of those 37.
Why do we keep doing this? Because we're committed; PMC is a "culture of commitment".
I like the way that sounds -- and I like it because it's true. Everyone involved in the PMC -- riding or volunteering -- has chosen to commit to this project. Nobody chooses cancer.
This picture on the right is the list of names that I always pack with me on the PMC. I like that the sheet of paper is something physical I can pull out and touch. When I read the names, I remember where I was sitting when I wrote each one down. I do try to take care of the list, keeping it in a zip-loc bag. But it still manages to get a little more worn and wrinkled each year. Like me, So that's apropos, I guess. ;-)So allow me to repeat: Nobody on that list chose to to get cancer.
I choose to support and ride in the PMC in honor or memoriam and I will continue to do so for as long as I am physically able. I'm committed for them and for myself.
I will be riding my 14th PMC in 2017. So expect to hear from me again next year. As always, if you'd prefer not to get my PMC emails, just jot me a quick 'please stop' email and I'll promptly remove you from my email list.
"PMC is an opportunity.
PMC is a challenge.
PMC is community.
PMC is a gift..."
